Save me... I want to live!!

That's me in the background with the almost 16 year old driving. Maybe we look alike to you - we like to wear matching shirts and have matching contusions on our skulls 0_0.

I had the "almost 16 year old" drive me up to St. Paul today via a busy-ish hwy. 0_0.

Dear Lord.... I think I ripped off 2 finger nails with the white knuckling I was doing.

On the one hand, she does PRETTY well ....if she was in the over 80 age group that is.

She takes SUPER wide turns and does them rather.....fast. My stomach is somewhere near Snelling Ave in St. Paul.

And on the other hand....well there is no "other hand" - it's just nerve racking and it's every bit as scarey as you can imagine except worse!!

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I don't know if I will survive this.

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On an un-related note... "THE PET" ( as we refer to my SIL ) has moved out. We called her the pet because she reminded us of a cat except she didn't stink and she didn't lick her bits and pieces. She was OUR PET for 8 months. It's with mixed feelings with say good bye to her and wish her the best in her new uber cool house.

There's no place like home....

The oldest urchin is HOME SICK. To quote her " I miss travelling with you guys and...would you believe I'm the only one that picks up after myself??? "

Oh yes, CHILD UNO ( the one that told me she was living in a prison 2 weeks ago ) has decided that Aunty Em and Uncle Henry are not so bad.

For starters, she is the one sharing a bed with her friend's little sister since her pal wants a bed all to herself ( you have no idea the karma here and how much I had to bite my tongue ). For another thing...there are 5 people in a hotel room; and 4 towels. Her pal used one for her hair and another to dry off....leaving 2 towels for 4 people. Rach was appalled.

I haven't heard so many " I love you's " or "I miss you's" since Jag and I were first together :)

This was the best thing we could have done for ourselves as parents - send your kids away so they can see you're not WICKED!!

The 10 Year Old Is My Homey This Week....

Jag is off on a Business Trip.....SIL ( aka Gail according to Drama ) is in and out ....and the "Almost 16 year old" is in Georgia....that leaves Jen and I to be each other's homies.

So last night I'm watching a show where a Mom gives birth to SIX babies - it was amazing.....I just had to watch it. Jen joined me. She then asks me " so do they have to do it 6 times to get 6 babies?" 0_0 Aye yie yie.

I then explained the wonders of FERTILITY DRUGS to her. She then wondered about people that choose NOT to have babies and we discussed that for a while.

Then...my cherub said something profound and beautiful....she said " well, I think you should have a baby since your body goes to all the trouble to DEVELOP ( her word ) a space for you to have a baby...it would be a shame for it to go to waste " Naturally, my genius offspring was referring to the Uterus and how it should not go to waste.

Sniff and ROFL!!

Ok ...so I asked the 10 yr old...

.... do you want to help me dust? ( Yes oh wise mothers, I realized my mistake the minute the "question" left my mouth ). She replies " nope - I only help with cooking " 0_0. I say back " so...whaddya gonna do when you grow up and you have a messy house? " She, without missing a beat says "I'll have a husband " 0_0 Foolishly, I ask " what does that have to do with it??" She says " Simple - I'll cook and he'll clean"

Now...why didn't I think of that???

The Parenting Gig

Let me just say that our youngest offspring has started her summer vacation out on shakey ground with me. For starters, she informed me last Friday that we had a boring house. Thank you very much cherished child but no one asked you.

Then last night, she told me that *I* was lazy because I didn't go upstairs and get her trash for the weekly garbage collection 0_0. Oh my friends....it was uggggggggggggggglee here after that. I informed my FORMER cherished child that she was going to shadow me the entire next day and do everything I did. *For a moment I saw fear in her eyes but then she quickly squelched it and said " FINE ".

So today....I got her up bright and early. Cherub says " Why are you getting me up so early!! It's summer vacation "....Mommie Dearest replies " I'm up so you're gonna be too "

Her first job was to REMAKE her bed after the first attempt stunk. Then, she was escorted down to the laundry room to sort laundry ( this brought out a " ewwwwwwwwwwwwww " and I quickly reminded her that a good percentage of the dirty laundry in the basket belonged to her and had hugged her body and special bits and pieces. 0_0. )

Then it was back upstairs to clean out the dishwasher.....after I noticed a few upside down spoons and knives in the fork slots....I decided a firm reminder of what would happen if the jobs weren't done correctly was in order.

Cherub promptly gave me a Harumpf! and said "I'm a lazy person and when I grow up...I'm gonna be a boss "

Aye yie yie....Jag and I have our work cut out for us. We've given birth to a deadbeat Dad.

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I see politics in her future.

I'm Slow On The Uptake.....

You ever have one of those "A HA!! " moments where you realize you've been an idiot. Oh...the signs are all there but you've been missing them and your brain seems to be on a vacation?? People around you must think you've either become incredibly insensitive or you're just an idiot....or both.

I woke up this morning with clarity my friends. I've been in a fog for the past 2 weeks. My brain started a vacation without me and it finally returned this morning. My first thought was "Oh my - I've been missing the boat!!". Naturally, I had feelings of embarrassment coupled with thousands of DUH's running through my head.

Do you ever have moments like that where you realize you've been a dunce?? If so, please share. Come join my dunce party.

P.S. Drama - remember the wav. "You are an idiot"?? Please play that when you think of me :)

Someone explain this to me...

I don't get it - how does an A student come home on the last day of school with ONE SHOE???? And when you ask said child where the shoe is...the response?? " I dunno. Must have fallen out of my backpack. It's ok though...I was done with them anyway " 0_0

Also - type in TENNIS SHOE on your search thingie and hit images....tell me why there are a few photos of nude women tossed in. I don't get that.

Pray People

The above pictures were taken in my home town. My folks have been without a phone and gas power. It's raining in the midwest and it's showing no signs of stopping.

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This has been a week of personal events for my family - such is life.

Mark was at the ER last night for a split chin - he banged his head on the floor until it broke open. *SIGH*

But what I came here to ask folks is to pray hard for my Aunt and the people of Cedar Falls Iowa. My Aunt was evacuated last night from her home. I just heard minutes ago that the levy broke. Homes can be replaced I suppose but this particular Aunt has more than her share of hardships.

Send positive energy her way guys.

June Is The Month For Brides

Happy Birthday

Grandma and Jenna

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Today's Grandma Genny's birthday. She loved family gatherings and she was especially fond of birthdays. I am picturing her in heaven having a huge meal and instructing St. Peter to " finish that up " and tossing another helping of taters on his plate. There was no such thing as DIETS in her world nor did plaque build up or clogged veins touch her radar screen. If it tasted good....eat it...and then eat some more. Any problem you had or any difficult situation could be solved by a slice or 2 of pie.


Happy Birthday Grandma!!