As many of you know, Jag's younger sister has been living with us since October. Overall, it's gone pretty well. Gwen ( or "Gail" as Kahlik refers to her ) is easy to have around and we share many of the same interests.
She has been actively looking for a job since she got here and has had NO luck ( for those inclined toward prayer, please add her to your list ). Throughout this process, there have been many days she has struck me as "depressed"...therefore when she wanted me to watch LOST with her...I did so ( she owns all 3 seasons ). Seems harmless right?? Well...this ticked off Rachel to no end. Rachel has always been a fairly territorial child and really would love it if I just devoted all my time and attention to her ( and if I did that...she would really hate it and then ask if Jag and I were going to divorce since I was spending so much time with her 0_0 )....
In other words, Rachel is the child I can't win with. I'm either hovering too much and TOO interested in what she's doing and who with....or...I am ignoring her and spending too much time with Gwen. *Keep in mind that when Gwen wanted me to watch LOST, we invited Rachel to do so too and she watched half of the first episode UNTIL the phone rang and she had to gab with her friend for an hour. We repeatedly invited her to join us etc
Last night...Rachel was mad that I had privately told her she had been insensitve to Gwen. I finally lost it a bit and said ( in front of Gwen no less ) " Listen... I want you to be respectful and kind to all adults and I'll call you on that behavior EVERY time no matter who it's directed towards....it just so happens that Gwen is one of those adults that LIVES with us "
So my friends....my oldest child is jealous of any attention I give Gwen.
Any advice???
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7 comments:
Yup - sounds like an oldest and a teenager. You can't win.
What brings a family together is a common enemy. The 3 of you need to find someone you all hate together, and then she can be included again. Somehow, hate bonds. Trust me.....
So - get on it. Tell her about the abusive neighbor or something. Get your hate on....
Ahhh the drama filled first borns .. aren't they lovely ?
I think being up front with her and letting her know what you expect from her is the best thing you could have done.
I also know that you and Jag spend good quality time with Rach and you are right she is still in that inbetween age where they want their independence but yet she still wants "Mom" on occasion too.
Thats fine and normal but telling her you demand respect for adults ... You did just fine MM !
Ohhh like our common bond over hating Izzy or PC ?
You are right Mama that does bond !
Hey MM let her start message boarding with us :)
Oh - Drama-O is right - you didn't flock up at all. You still have to let her know that she must be respectful and that she is not your (or Gwen's) equal.
I'd suggest Dad having a talk with her.
How old is Rachel?
Since Gwen is an adult she can take care of herself.
It does sound like Rachel is jealous. Maybe you 2 could have a mom/daughter day out.
All kids are DTM today...just sayin!
hmmm.....
Deesention has no great wisdom. I was an oldest, but I hated my dad and stepmom with the passion od a thousand rabid squirls. Never had to much conflict, as by the time I was in HS I did everything possible to avoid them.
maybe you could just ignore her, and she'll go away. Or do the dog wisperer thing to her.. pinch her on the neck and make her lay down when ever she's rude. Or take the other approach and toss a cookie at her everytime she behaves nicely.
You see this is why I prefer dogs to children.
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