Care to have lunch with me?????????

"Lucy" ( as SOME of my friends like to refer to me ) had an experience today that she would like to share ( as I told one of my lunch mates...."You know those lists of things you're supposed to do before you die?? We can check this one off" 0_0 ).

I went to NOODLES today for a quick lunch ( I was out and about running errands etc ). The place was packed and I didn't realize that until AFTER I ordered my food and tried to find a table. Finally, a 4 seater became available and I was seated. I looked up at a mother and her 12 year old daughter and said " I don't mind if you want to join me " and the Mom ( who I came to know as "Sarah" ) said " you really don't mind?" And I assured her I did not. Meanwhile, an older woman at a booth said " I feel funny having this booth all to myself. In New York, you just sit wherever there's an opening " . Sarah turned to her and said " Why don't you join us too?" ( Now...either Sarah was being nice or she thought there was safety in numbers should I turn out to be a serial killer enjoying a penne rosa pasta dish at Noodles )> So...."Anita" ( originally from Manhattan 30 years ago ) joined us.

I had an hour lunch with people I've never met before and probably won't again - it was delightful.

I bet some of you would have done this too - or ...already have.

No longer a little girl......

Our oldest went to her first Prom - she's no longer a "little girl" in many ways yet she has so much to learn.

Have we done a good job? Will she remember what we've taught her? Will she always come to us when she needs us??

This parenting gig is tough but it has many rewards. I look at her and see the young lady I never was at her age. So smart....so beautiful....so poised.....so GOOD.

Take a moment and listen to the lyrics of this song ( don't peek at who sang it just yet ) and then reflect on your own lives as parents.

I Just Want To Take A Bath By Myself....Please!

I love to soak in a tub at night - I don't do it every night but often enough that I could qualify for being an amphibian.

Tonight - I had the various aches and pains from the day and I wanted to relax. Normally, I wait until everyone is in bed because it's quiet then and I'm less likely to be disturbed.....

However, I stepped into my pool of serenity ( aka hot bath in an old white tub ) earlier than usual. That, was my first mistake.

I'm in the tub relaxing when Jenna BARGES in ( yes...I say BARGE ). "Mom, I need to have you copy off my "ZINE" for me " The Zine is Jenna's magazine she writes for her classmates ( that's a whole other blog peeps )...... I patiently reply " Your Dad can help you with that"

Jenna responds " No Mom, he doesn't know how to copy front and back like you do"

Once again....I patiently reply " Jenna, he has a master's degree and he is an engineer -- he CAN do this"

We go round and round for a while when I finally say "Why are you still here...go ask Dad!! " ( ok...losing some patience now )....

The Cherub replies "Oh...I'm pooping"

0_0

"You're what????????"

Jenna says " I'm pooping "

Me " and why are you doing it here??"

Jenna " where else would I do it?"

Me "oh I dunno....maybe IN ONE OF THE FOUR OTHER BATHROOMS in this house!!"

Jenna chuckles and says " but then I couldn't talk to you"

Me " for heavens sakes how long does it take you to poop!?!"

Jenna " Oh I'm done...I'm just wiping really well so my butt won't itch later"

SIGH

Can't a person even take a bath without being interrupted by a pooping child???

Geeeez.... you try to raise good kids.....

I'm talking to Jenna this afternoon and say " Tianna's mom needs someone to give Tianna a ride to Girl Scouts tonight - I think I'll call her and offer to do that "

** Tianna has high functioning autism

Jenna groans " do we hhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaave to?"

Me " I think it would be the nice thing to do "

Jenna "let's not "

Me " Jenna, it's not Tianna's fault that she obsesses on topics and that she doesn't know how to behave in social situations. I would think that YOU above all people would get that "

Jenna " Why?"

Me " Because of Mark. In any case, I still expect you to be compassionate and understanding "

And what did my angel say???

Jenna " well...I'm not"


Nice...real nice. I'm raising Ted Bundy.

Bon Journo Jackie....

Jackie - it was unbelievable!! If I had your email address, I would email you a link so you could see the album.

I think we all should be Italian!!

Oh ya baby.....

WHOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!! It's finally spring like weather here!! Slushy muddy streets....pot holes everywhere....

I'm in a frantic panic mode trying to prepare for Italy but dang it....it's nice out and tempting me to go play!!

I might as well be walking on the sun......


Oh ya....

Just A Yearly Review - A Reflection

Isn't he handsome?? *Huge sigh*

We had a yearly review this week at the county offices with Mark's social worker ( Janeen - he's had her since he was 2 ), her supervisor ( TW ) and Mark's guardian ad litum ( aka never seen her before in my life and she was questionable in her ability to keep things straight ).

TW welcomed me and I had to look at her for a minute and say " Oh...I remember you! You were at our house 5 or so years ago to observe Mark "

She laughed and said " Yes ...that was me and that's when I knew your family needed help and relief " 0_0

I said " was it that bad?? "

TW " Ummm yes. It was very bad and you had a daughter that wasn't speaking due to the stress in the home "

Me " It's good for me to hear feedback because I have days where I wonder if I was just being a wimp or that I was throwing the towel in too soon. I'll always wonder if we did the right thing "

TW " There is no question in my mind that Mark is where he needs to be and I see lots of cases. You were wiped out emotionally and you had other children to think of ....not to mention your marriage "

0_0

I write all this merely to reflect on it - it was almost SOOTHING to hear her words. I hadn't seen her since the day she came into my home to assess whether Mark really needed to be placed. And ...as I recall, she watched Mark for 30 minutes in our home and turned to Brook and I and said " what can *I* do for you?? What can I do to get the ball rolling on placement? "

Folks - some days I have wondered if I was just a wimp but it's very nice to occasionally get feedback that confirms we did the right thing.

God bless all families that face tough decisions....and God bless good social workers and their supervisors.

When Did I Turn Into A Detective??

Look at her.... all angelic....all innocent....all holy looking....

DO NOT BE FOOLED!!

This child has had a horrible cold all week. The problem is that with this particular child, it's hard to tell just how sick she really is because she has become quite the capable actress. Meryl Streep has nothing on Jenna.

Example of conversation this morning ( this was after I told her she WAS going back to school ):

Jenna ( insert sickly and weak voice here ): "I'm really really sick Mom "

Mom ( insert responsible and caring Mom voice...not ) : "Go eat something so I can give you some medicine - I don't like to give it on an empty stomach "

Jenna ( answering way too quickly ) " I already ate something "

Mom ( raising eyebrow ) "Oh?? What did you have? "

Jenna (slightly raising her eyebrow ) "why do you want to know? "

Mom ( suddenly turning into Nancy Drew ) "So....if I were to go downstairs and look in the sink...would I find an empty cereal bowl? "

Jenna ...squirming and looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

Mom " Get downstairs....eat some breakfast....NOW! "

Motherhood is not for wusses.

A Book Review.....

Book Synopsis:

The novel is set in the American Northwest. The main character is Mackenzie Philips, a father of five, called "Mack" by his family and friends.
Four years prior to the main events of the story, Mack takes his three children on a camping trip to Multnomah Falls and Wallowa Lake near Joseph, Oregon. Two of his children are playing in a canoe when it flips and almost drowns Mack's son. Mack is able to save his son by leaving his youngest daughter Missy alone at their campsite. After Mack returns, he sees that Missy is missing. The police are called, and the family discovers that Missy has been abducted and murdered by a serial killer known as the "Little Ladykiller". The police find an abandoned shack in the woods where Missy was taken, but her body is never found. Mack's life sinks into what he calls The Great Sadness.
At the beginning of the book, Mack receives a note in his mailbox from "Papa", saying that he would like to meet with Mack on that coming weekend at the shack. Mack is puzzled by the note - he has no relationship with his abusive father, who left when Mack was young. He suspects that the note may be from God, who his wife Nan refers to as "Papa".
Mack leaves his family and goes alone to the shack, unsure of what he will see there. He arrives and finds nothing, but as he is leaving the shack and its surroundings are supernaturally transformed into a lush and inviting scene. He enters the shack and encounters manifestations of the three persons of the Trinity. God the Father takes the form of an African American woman who calls herself Papa, Jesus Christ is a Mideastern carpenter, and the Holy Spirit is personified as an Asian woman named Sarayu.

My Review:

I really....really....really wanted to LOVE this book. It's right up my alley and it's a subject matter that intrigues me. That said, there were many parts of this book that just didn't resonate with me. I like the idea of having "GOD" be both male and female. That worked well in my opinion. However, the 3 persons in one God thing....well, since we know that the church didn't come up with that idea until the council of Nicea....I kept struggling with that as being "FACT" in this book. On the other hand, I kept smacking myself and telling myself to read it as a story and not get caught up on specifics.

There is so very much to LOVE about the book - I like the idea of forgiveness - even for those that do HORRIBLE things. I like the idea of God always being around us.....I like the idea that heaven is really unimagineable to us......

I just wish I had loved this book more.....SIGH.

I'm tossing my hat in the ring!!!

I'm entering Mama's BEST LOVE SONG PLAY LIST competition!! I have a feeling that most of the songs I've selected Mama has never heard of - this might hurt me in the competition....I must add I am prepared to poop in her purse should I be penalized for it!

Shhhhhhhhhh I'm pretending....

I'm pretending it's summer and I'm driving down the highway with my windows down -- radio loud as can be. Playing good ole rock and roll.

I also have no body parts that sag and I am smoking hot. Jackie has nothing on me in her cool red car because mine is shinier and has no ice or snow on it. It also goes faster and no cops can catch me.

Don't shatter my fantasy.

This is dedicated to "MAMA AND THE FLORIDIANS"

Let me educate you on how you know when it's REALLY cold out:

1. As you drive around town, you notice as your tires turn on the snow covered pavement they make a moaning sound. Sort of like a low rumbling thunder sound. It's as if your car axle had bones and they were creaking.

2. Your tires feel like Fred Flinstones as you bounce down the road. It's like they're square instead of round.

3. Ever heard of Black Ice??? It's not a rare and valuable diamond. Black ice occurs when it is SO COLD OUT, that your exhaust from your car freezes to the highway. You can't see it and if you drive up on it suddenly, you're likely to go spinning like a break dancer.

4. Speaking of spinning....do you know how to get your car out of a spin?? If your car start spinning to the right, do you know what to do?? You give into it. A mistake new drivers make is to jerk the steering wheel in the other direction.....this makes for spinning that can go on for days.

5. Creep up to a stop sign - don't come full speed and then slam on your brakes unless you want to slide into the intersection. New drivers ( and my husband ) often make this mistake 0_0. You can wind up rear-ending someone as well.

6. You know it's cold out when zero degrees sounds all right to you. As long as your nose hairs don't freeze and your forehead doesn't hurt, it's bikini weather to you.

7. It's not the cold....it's the WIND CHILL STUPID. Enough said on that.

8. People with pets tell me that they have to CARRY their pets outside for them to do their business. Dogs aren't stupid and they look at you like " are you flocking crazy??? I'm not going out there!! My pee will freeze in mid air "

9. You know it's cold out when people write into the paper and give suggestions on how to "enjoy" the weather. 2 gems from today's edition: 1. Blow bubbles outside and watch them freeze in mid air. 2. Boil water in the microwave and then toss outside and watch it freeze in mid-air and create snow. Obviously, here in Minnesota, we live on the edge and know how to have a good time.

10. You know it's cold when you're automatic windows don't work on your vehicle. OR, you forget how cold it is and go to use them and they snap out of position.

11. Never wash your car when it's uber cold out - unless you don't mind having it permanently sealed until Spring ( which comes in July in Minnesota ).

12. You know it's cold where you live when you start to befriend people over the internet that live in Florida. You secretly keep the idea of crashing their place if you go insane.

13. You know it's cold out when the automatic doors at Target or Cub stop working and you have to actually PULL A DOOR OPEN.

14. You know it's cold out when you decide that HELL is not a fire filled place but it's in International Falls, Minnesota instead.

15. You know it's cold out when the sight of your running furnace turns you on.

16. You know it's cold out when you refuse to go out and get the mail.

17. Speaking of the mail, you know you live in a cold climate when your metal neighborhood mailbox(es) break off because of too much exposure to salt. Thankfully, one of your pack-rat neighbors has an old table he lifts it up onto until the USPS can replace the darn thing in the Spring ( which is in July.....).

18. You know you live in a cold climate if you know what BAG BALM is. 0_0

19. You live where it's cold if your garage can be used as the largest indoor freezer in the world.

20. You live where it's colder than snot if your garage floor looks like the bottom of a sewage dump. No sense sweeping out til July because you'd be at it daily. It's wet, muddly, sludgey gunk.

21. You know it's dang cold out when your car tries to slap you for starting it.

22. You know it's cold and yucky out when everyone looks like the younger brother from A CHRISTMAS STORY - all bundled up ....looking like space men.

23. You know it's winter when your green van looks white from all the salting on the roads. You accidentally rub up against it with your BLACK COAT ( naturally ) only to look like a bag lady.

24. You know you live in a cold climate when you decide that the color theme in your house will be in warm colors ONLY. Rich earthen and southwestern colors and hues are used in a sad attempt to at least give the illusion that it's not that cold out.

25. You know it's cold out when the steel handles on the store door fronts hurt to touch.

Oh heck....I suppose I could go on and on but now I feel like I need a hot bath.

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Jenna's Family :)

Jenna wrote this ....made it into a book...and gave it to us for Christmas:

The most important thing about my mom is that she's humorous.

It is true, Mom is unselfish. She cleans my messy room. Also, she's gentle. She helps me fall asleep sometimes. She is calm. One time she calmed me at the doctor's office. But the most important thing about Mom is that she's humorous 0_0

The most important thing about Mark is that he is very successful.

It is true , Mark is smart. Mark is autistic and can cook, mow the lawn and put puzzles together. Also, he is funny! Mark does really funny things. One time, he was baking cookies and he turned the turning thing on full blast.

But the most important thing about Mark is that he is very successful.

The most important thing about Rachel is that she is my friend.

It is true, Rachel is helpful. Sometimes she helps me with my homework. Also, she is a dreamer. She dreams up some pretty cool things. And yes, she is brave. One time Rachel opened a package when we thought it was a bomb ( it wasn't and we are still here ).

But the most important thing about Rachel is that she is my friend.

The most important thing about Dad is that he is bold.

It is true, Dad is brave. He killed a spider that creeped me out! Also, he is proud. When he does something right he is proud. And he's honest, he told me the truth when he put my cookies back in the oven and burnt them.

But the most important thing about Dad is that he is bold.

The most important thing about me is that I'm totally awesome!!

It is true, I am crazy. I send e-mails that don't make sense to my friends. Also, I'm funny! I can make anybody laugh out loud. Last, but not least, I 'm cool. All my friends think I am!

But, the most important thing about me is that I am totally awesome!

What Happens When You Get Sick Over Christmas????

ACHOO!!!

My family flew out to New Mexico yesterday.....alas...I was too sick to fly. I was in bed most of the day on the 25th. Just a bad cold mon....bad cold!!

I am flying out to NM tomorrow on a later flight. I feel better but my right ear is plugged. It can't be as bad as labor right?? I know landing will be tough but I will buck it up...


Merry ACHOO Christmas!!

Oh Man - I LOVE Me A Man With A Snow Plow

Some women love furs.....some love jewels....some love dollar bills.....GIVE ME A MAN WITH A SNOW PLOW!!!

Jag is outta town and I was just out trying to scrape off the half foot of snow ( yes ...gorgeous and fluffy. I always like it until December 26th and then it must go! ) when I hear " Hang on Theresa!! I'm coming!! " and like a knight on a noble stead he came!! My hero!! TIM!! He has a plow on the front of a riding mower. I am having evil thoughts while my husband is away...... I can be bought with hasty snow removal services.

Anniversary Time

I'm biologically related to 3 people in that photo above - now you know where I got some of my more "interesting" features 0_0

Tomorrow, Jag and I will have been married 19 years. I really adore the guy - not only am I in love with him, I happen to like and enjoy him.

We went to a Fraser fund raiser Saturday night ( a wonderful center in our area that helps special needs kids; autistic folks in particular. Mark went there for 5 years ).

As you might imagine, it's an evening full of an array of emotions for us. It brings up memories for us that are mostly wonderful but some are painful. We get to run into old friends and take a stroll down memory lane ( we ran into our former A.S.S. members...... folks that we used to hang out with once a month so our autistic kids could be with other families that didn't freak out over someone banging their head against a wall. Oh...and btw, A.S.S. stands for Autistic Social Society -- naturally, I coined our title after a margarita or 2. We've also been known to burn a book or two ).

One father got up and gave a talk on how it was to raise his special needs son -- he read the HOLLAND poem which brought the house down. He then read it again and applied it to his own life with his son and he couldn't get through it - the man was reduced to tears. Not a dry eye in the place.

Later - the director of Fraser took the stage and asked everyone to stand that knew someone with autism ( there were probably 800 people there )....3/4 of the room stood up. Amazing actually. She said ( and I may have mucked this up a bit ) that every 20 minutes, 12 children are diagnosed with autism. It's at an epidemic rate in this country - yet funding is down for research and programs.


What does this have to do with Jag and me and our Anniversary??? I'm so very thankful to be married to someone who has my back on this journey and who quietly grabs my hand at galas like this to remind me he is with me and cherishes me.


Below - is a copy of HOLLAND:

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Why I haven't been posting....

It's been a rough week folks.

Our good friend Paul died rather suddenly Tuesday morning from complications of ALS. While we all knew he would eventually pass from this horrible disease, his death came sooner than we all imagined. He had just started to lose muscle control in his neck and face. He hadn't yet made the decision on whether to be put on a trach or not.

Early Tuesday morning - he wanted to use the bathroom. His wife and adult daughter were in the process of helping him when he went into distress. They were unable to tell what he was trying to communicate to them ( he had lost the ability to speak a year ago ) and he suffocated in front of them. Very tragic.


Then....Friday night, my brother called to tell me my 102 year old Grandma had died.


We're a bit emotionally spent here at the moment. But never fear....I will be back and post you some meaningless but sort of cute stories.

Jackie - I think you are my biggest fan :)

Teacher's Pet?? You decide....

Jag and I went to Jen's parent teacher conference last week. You never really know what to expect at these things but in general....they run about the same. They show you the stuff your child does well in and the stuff they need to work on etc.

We arrive and the teacher looks at us and says " Can I just say what a lovely young lady you have there " 0_0

How did Jag and I respond?? With hysterical laughter. I'm sure most of you will agree that we did not have the most appropriate response at that moment but it was honest ( had this teacher, who appeared capable and alert, mistaken our child with someone else?? ).

It only got better from there --- Mrs. Anderson ( there has to be a million teachers in Minnesota with that name ) says " When Jenna speaks, you just have to listen. She's so profound and she's really a thinker " 0_0

Jag and I supressed giggles and tried to take the rest of the conference in with seriousness and with the respect it deserved.

Apparently, our child is a genius in math but sucks at spelling ( just in case you were curious how she was doing besides being the teacher's pet ).

No teacher ever adored me - not one stinking one.

Jackie - can I be your pet?

My Child - The Rebel

You know...I try...I REALLY try to be a good mother and set a good example. Don't look at me like that!! I really do!! I set limits....I set boundaries... I have consequences for inappropriate behavior....I talk about strong and inspiring women to our girls....which brings me to the topic of this thread.

I was in charge of the Girl Scout meeting tonight for Jen's troop ( of course, 3 other Moms were helping but for some reason I was sort of cast as the leader of the "pack" - again, I ask that you NOT look at me like that!! I swear I did not try to control the whole thing.....ok maybe I did a smidge but they all wanted to talk about the approaching election at the planning meeting and it was MOI that kept them on task.......oh now I see doubt written on your face just as my husband had when I told him this story but I swear on my favorite jeans....it's true. ).....anyway...our topic was on being a healthy person inside and out and having positive female role models. One assignment I gave the girls ( 14 of them ) was to name women they consider to be role models in their own lives and then come to the meeting and share this 0_0

As we went around the room....hearing "my Mom"....."my Grandma"...."Madame Currie" ( no one really said that but pretend they did because it will make the story funnier )....."My teacher".....Maya Angelou ( again...work with me here ).....and we get to MY CHERUB.....can you guess?? Can you guess who my child's role model is??? I had no idea before this meeting......Come on ...take a guess......

Give up??

My child said PINK 0_0 I am choosing to see this is a good thing. It is isn't it?? Please tell me it is!!! Pink has a potty mouth but she's a strong woman right????

Aye yie yie.

Later in the meeting, we had the girls write positive statements about each girl. Can you guess what every girl said about my cherub??? Here's an example:

1. You're funny

2. You have a sence of hammer ( spelling is not a virtue in Girl Scouts ).

3. You make me laugh

4. You're the funniest girl in the world

At that last one, I looked at the author ( Abbey) and said " in the Whoooooooooole world?? Not just the USA?? Not just Minnesota?? But...the whhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooole world?" Abbey assured me this was true.

Obviously....Jag's genes are at play here.

Mistaken Identity 0_0

I'm not even sure if this will make sense ...but here goes.

Apparently, there is another Mark's Mom in the twin cities area. I know this because I occasionally get her phone calls. A year ago, I even got a call from her doctor giving her ( me ) her test results and they weren't good ( cancer ). I had to explain that he had the wrong number yadda yadda.

Fast forward to TODAY....in my mailbox is a card addressed to Mark's Mom and some dude's name. I was puzzled...opened it and it read:

Mark's Mom and Joel:

We found out about the challenges you both are facing with cancer last weekend - very sorry to learn about them. You are both on our minds and we wish you favorable (can't read word )

-Michele and Ron

0_0

Oh mannnnnnn....someone sent a nice card to someone thinking the person got it and they didn't get it - now what? I looked at the return address -- nice...their last name was like SMITH but not SMITH. SIGH.

I did an internet search and found them though!! I called and said " hi, my name is Mark's Mom but I'm not the Mark's mom you are looking for. Yadda yadda just thought you'd want to know that I got the card by mistake "

What's it mean Jackie?? Is there another me in a parallel universe?????

Isn't that an odd story???