Reunions

Some of you know, I flew out to Washington state last Friday; accompanying my aging parents on a visit to my brother and his wife...and to attend the college graduation of my beloved niece, Jordan.

I was dreading this trip more than you can imagine. My brother drives me insane and I specifically was not looking forward to staying at his house.

There's a long history there which I need not bore you folks with but suffice it to say....we go together like Bush and McCain ( well...at least how they USED to go together 0_0 ).

So....off I flew with my parents to the great Northwest. I have to admit, I had a good time travelling with those 2 old birds. I was the designated driver so I got to boss them around ( sort of ironic when you think about it " We'll get there when we get there " 0_0 ...or " Didn't you JUST go the bathroom?? " ). At one point when I was parallel parking, I said "Could maybe one more person give me directions on how to do this because I'm thinking 2 is not enough" - My brother and Dad were telling me how to park and I was doing a fine job by myself tyvm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We stayed in a Super 8 motel Friday night in Spokane ( my mother booked it and didn't know it was a less than stellar place to stay -- I think the bath towel covered one cheek of my abundant yet cute arse ). I knew she felt badly so I just sort of joked about it " hey...it's not the Bates Hotel "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We then drove down to Pullman to Jordan's house for a pre-graduation reunion of sorts. I knew Jordan's mother, stepfather and 2 half siblings would be there and I was anxious about that. I hadn't seen "Jane" ( actually, that IS her real name ) for nearly 17 - 18 years. I had adored her when my brother was married to her and missed her over the years. As much as I had tried to connect with his second wife, she just wasn't "Jane" and I missed the talks we used to have. In addition, I had heard great things about her husband and was excited to finally meet him as well. Plus, the 2 children ( ages 7 and 3 ) would be fun for me to meet - I sort of enjoy kids 0_0

I found myself being a big nervous as I walked into Jordan's house.....then I saw Jane. It was if time had not passed. We hugged each other and it was like a "reconnecting" had already begun. We chatted and exchanged stories about our lives etc. I met her wonderful husband ( loved him immediately ) and met their 2 children ( 2 of the sweetest and cutest kids I had ever met ).

Then my brother and his wife showed up - naturally, they were both impeccably dressed in the latest and coolest fashions. They looked great as usual. Hugs and greetings exchanged. Pictures taken of the graduate with both of her " families " ...then we prepared to head over to the graduation.

My niece, Jordan, suddenly was bossing everyone. "Papa and Grandma, you ride with my Dad after graduation and head down to Walla Walla. I'll ride with Tee ( her name for me ) and return my gown etc and then follow you down " Her mom, stepdad and sibs would come down later. I wondered about this arrangement but said "okey dokey "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We went to her graduation and after waving at the wrong young woman for 20 minutes we finally "found" Jordan and waved our silly arms off at her. ( side note - I didn't exactly think it was Jordan we were waving at for the first 20 min but I am sort of visually challenged and I figured my brother KNEW his kid better than I did 0_0 ).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the graduation ceremony was over, we went out into the sun and took more pictures and yacked some more. Finally, we loaded in our vehicles and prepared to make the trip down to Walla Walla.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As it turned out....Jordan and I had a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng talk on that nearly 2 hour drive. She talked about her future....about hoping to find love....and...about her feelings for her Dad ( ie him "abandoning" her as a child ). She told me she finally realized she was angry at him because she found herself sniping at him all the time. Apparently, they were at some gathering and she did something exceptionally well...to which he turned to a bystander and said " I must of raised her right " and she snapped " You didn't raise me " 0_0. I listened to this and let her share how she finally confronted him and how they came back together with a new understanding. As gently as I could, I said to her " I want to reaffirm to you that others saw what happened to you as a child and you have every right to have/had the feelings you do/did.....it broke my heart when your parents split up and I worried about you terribly ". She also shared how her Dad said his feelings had been hurt by her sniping at him. I then ( maybe I overstepped here ) said to her " the feelings of a 40+ adult ; one that has more tools and skills at coping...are different than the hurt feelings of a child "

We talked about many more things but I won't bore you with the details...only to say ...I felt I had recovered the closeness with my niece that I had felt with her when she was a child. She was...my first baby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We arrive in Walla Walla and prepare for the "party" in honor of Jordan's graduation. My brother and his wife, naturally have a gorgeous house ( parts of it could be in a style magazine ). Everything appears as it should....yet...I never quite felt at home there. Maybe it was the sleekness of it or....the 2 giant great danes that roam the place 0_0. ( I did practice the Dog Whisperer on those 2 girls and they didn't mess with me. When I say " ride a dog save a cowboy " you get the drift on the size of those 2 dames ).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane and crew arrived later. Folks....it was old home week for her and me ( at least it was for me ). We talked for hours ( kids coming and going....people walking in and out of our circle.... eating....etc ). She has become a natural healer of sorts and she reached over and told me " I see silver light shooting out all around you - it's quite fascinating to watch. I've never seen that color around someone before. It's like a star " 0_0. Now....she knows I am open-minded and receptive to this sort of stuff or she never would have said anything to me. So...we were off on another topic with her giving me a "mini" reading of sorts ( I'm still processing all that -- it's all good so...no worries folks. Just a lot of info to absorb ). The night went on and when it was time for her and her family to leave she said quietly to me " do you want to see God or feel God? " . 0_0 I had to think for a moment and I gave my first logical response that popped into my head " well, I am so visual...I want to see God "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning...I woke up and my first thought was " to feel God is to see God! " ....then I got it. It was like a lightbulb. I had been neglecting myself and my own spirituality for quite some time. I had some work to do and I was ready to do it. Also, I had a great deal of peace that morning. I also realized that a great deal of the anger I had been harboring at my brother was over the loss of Jane. I cannot completely describe how liberating that was to realize that. I had no idea how much I had missed her until I saw her again. I had been holding a grudge toward my brother and I had built a wall around myself against his second wife because she was not Jane ( my loyalty might have gotten in the way here ). It's odd but I found myself looking differently at those 2 the next day. Yes.... I still saw some of the pretentiousness and I saw the silly way they talked to their dogs but.... it no longer bothered me. I just went with it and lived in the NOW ( Jag and I toss that around at each other during stressful situations " LIVE IN THE NOW HONEY!! " )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've rambled here but I hope you get the gist of how my weekend was. It was much better than I expected and.... I learned something along the way.