What Happens When You Get Sick Over Christmas????

ACHOO!!!

My family flew out to New Mexico yesterday.....alas...I was too sick to fly. I was in bed most of the day on the 25th. Just a bad cold mon....bad cold!!

I am flying out to NM tomorrow on a later flight. I feel better but my right ear is plugged. It can't be as bad as labor right?? I know landing will be tough but I will buck it up...


Merry ACHOO Christmas!!

Oh Man - I LOVE Me A Man With A Snow Plow

Some women love furs.....some love jewels....some love dollar bills.....GIVE ME A MAN WITH A SNOW PLOW!!!

Jag is outta town and I was just out trying to scrape off the half foot of snow ( yes ...gorgeous and fluffy. I always like it until December 26th and then it must go! ) when I hear " Hang on Theresa!! I'm coming!! " and like a knight on a noble stead he came!! My hero!! TIM!! He has a plow on the front of a riding mower. I am having evil thoughts while my husband is away...... I can be bought with hasty snow removal services.

Anniversary Time

I'm biologically related to 3 people in that photo above - now you know where I got some of my more "interesting" features 0_0

Tomorrow, Jag and I will have been married 19 years. I really adore the guy - not only am I in love with him, I happen to like and enjoy him.

We went to a Fraser fund raiser Saturday night ( a wonderful center in our area that helps special needs kids; autistic folks in particular. Mark went there for 5 years ).

As you might imagine, it's an evening full of an array of emotions for us. It brings up memories for us that are mostly wonderful but some are painful. We get to run into old friends and take a stroll down memory lane ( we ran into our former A.S.S. members...... folks that we used to hang out with once a month so our autistic kids could be with other families that didn't freak out over someone banging their head against a wall. Oh...and btw, A.S.S. stands for Autistic Social Society -- naturally, I coined our title after a margarita or 2. We've also been known to burn a book or two ).

One father got up and gave a talk on how it was to raise his special needs son -- he read the HOLLAND poem which brought the house down. He then read it again and applied it to his own life with his son and he couldn't get through it - the man was reduced to tears. Not a dry eye in the place.

Later - the director of Fraser took the stage and asked everyone to stand that knew someone with autism ( there were probably 800 people there )....3/4 of the room stood up. Amazing actually. She said ( and I may have mucked this up a bit ) that every 20 minutes, 12 children are diagnosed with autism. It's at an epidemic rate in this country - yet funding is down for research and programs.


What does this have to do with Jag and me and our Anniversary??? I'm so very thankful to be married to someone who has my back on this journey and who quietly grabs my hand at galas like this to remind me he is with me and cherishes me.


Below - is a copy of HOLLAND:

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Why I haven't been posting....

It's been a rough week folks.

Our good friend Paul died rather suddenly Tuesday morning from complications of ALS. While we all knew he would eventually pass from this horrible disease, his death came sooner than we all imagined. He had just started to lose muscle control in his neck and face. He hadn't yet made the decision on whether to be put on a trach or not.

Early Tuesday morning - he wanted to use the bathroom. His wife and adult daughter were in the process of helping him when he went into distress. They were unable to tell what he was trying to communicate to them ( he had lost the ability to speak a year ago ) and he suffocated in front of them. Very tragic.


Then....Friday night, my brother called to tell me my 102 year old Grandma had died.


We're a bit emotionally spent here at the moment. But never fear....I will be back and post you some meaningless but sort of cute stories.

Jackie - I think you are my biggest fan :)

Teacher's Pet?? You decide....

Jag and I went to Jen's parent teacher conference last week. You never really know what to expect at these things but in general....they run about the same. They show you the stuff your child does well in and the stuff they need to work on etc.

We arrive and the teacher looks at us and says " Can I just say what a lovely young lady you have there " 0_0

How did Jag and I respond?? With hysterical laughter. I'm sure most of you will agree that we did not have the most appropriate response at that moment but it was honest ( had this teacher, who appeared capable and alert, mistaken our child with someone else?? ).

It only got better from there --- Mrs. Anderson ( there has to be a million teachers in Minnesota with that name ) says " When Jenna speaks, you just have to listen. She's so profound and she's really a thinker " 0_0

Jag and I supressed giggles and tried to take the rest of the conference in with seriousness and with the respect it deserved.

Apparently, our child is a genius in math but sucks at spelling ( just in case you were curious how she was doing besides being the teacher's pet ).

No teacher ever adored me - not one stinking one.

Jackie - can I be your pet?

My Child - The Rebel

You know...I try...I REALLY try to be a good mother and set a good example. Don't look at me like that!! I really do!! I set limits....I set boundaries... I have consequences for inappropriate behavior....I talk about strong and inspiring women to our girls....which brings me to the topic of this thread.

I was in charge of the Girl Scout meeting tonight for Jen's troop ( of course, 3 other Moms were helping but for some reason I was sort of cast as the leader of the "pack" - again, I ask that you NOT look at me like that!! I swear I did not try to control the whole thing.....ok maybe I did a smidge but they all wanted to talk about the approaching election at the planning meeting and it was MOI that kept them on task.......oh now I see doubt written on your face just as my husband had when I told him this story but I swear on my favorite jeans....it's true. ).....anyway...our topic was on being a healthy person inside and out and having positive female role models. One assignment I gave the girls ( 14 of them ) was to name women they consider to be role models in their own lives and then come to the meeting and share this 0_0

As we went around the room....hearing "my Mom"....."my Grandma"...."Madame Currie" ( no one really said that but pretend they did because it will make the story funnier )....."My teacher".....Maya Angelou ( again...work with me here ).....and we get to MY CHERUB.....can you guess?? Can you guess who my child's role model is??? I had no idea before this meeting......Come on ...take a guess......

Give up??

My child said PINK 0_0 I am choosing to see this is a good thing. It is isn't it?? Please tell me it is!!! Pink has a potty mouth but she's a strong woman right????

Aye yie yie.

Later in the meeting, we had the girls write positive statements about each girl. Can you guess what every girl said about my cherub??? Here's an example:

1. You're funny

2. You have a sence of hammer ( spelling is not a virtue in Girl Scouts ).

3. You make me laugh

4. You're the funniest girl in the world

At that last one, I looked at the author ( Abbey) and said " in the Whoooooooooole world?? Not just the USA?? Not just Minnesota?? But...the whhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooole world?" Abbey assured me this was true.

Obviously....Jag's genes are at play here.

Mistaken Identity 0_0

I'm not even sure if this will make sense ...but here goes.

Apparently, there is another Mark's Mom in the twin cities area. I know this because I occasionally get her phone calls. A year ago, I even got a call from her doctor giving her ( me ) her test results and they weren't good ( cancer ). I had to explain that he had the wrong number yadda yadda.

Fast forward to TODAY....in my mailbox is a card addressed to Mark's Mom and some dude's name. I was puzzled...opened it and it read:

Mark's Mom and Joel:

We found out about the challenges you both are facing with cancer last weekend - very sorry to learn about them. You are both on our minds and we wish you favorable (can't read word )

-Michele and Ron

0_0

Oh mannnnnnn....someone sent a nice card to someone thinking the person got it and they didn't get it - now what? I looked at the return address -- nice...their last name was like SMITH but not SMITH. SIGH.

I did an internet search and found them though!! I called and said " hi, my name is Mark's Mom but I'm not the Mark's mom you are looking for. Yadda yadda just thought you'd want to know that I got the card by mistake "

What's it mean Jackie?? Is there another me in a parallel universe?????

Isn't that an odd story???

Ramblings

God Love Ya!!

Mama and I have decided that Joe Biden is the best comedy act going in this year's election - but no one knows about it!!

Now....let me be clear....I'm a diehard Dem and I genuinely LIKE Biden but he makes some major gaffes that send me into hysterics. For example, he was giving a speech and told a man in a wheel chair to "STAND UP"....when he realized what he had done he said " Oh God Love Ya " ( it KILLS me everytime I see it ). Go to youtube and type in JOE BIDEN and wheelchair if you're interested.

I firmly believe Biden is a smart man and knows what he's talking about most of the time...but he makes some major funny gaffes. To be honest...I identify with him and, I am a female Joe Biden ( sans the balding head and the different bits and pieces ).

I will be watching the debate tonight hoping that Joe doesn't gaffe too much....He can save those moments for the road.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jenna is going through the sacrament of RECONCILIATION in our church ( it used to be called CONFESSION in my day ). Basically, the sacrament involves reflecting on your life and "sins" ( errors etc ) you have made and how you seek to reconcile yourself with God and your fellow human beings.

We attended a workshop last weekend on this and Jenna naturally is full of questions. They had a handout that showed children standing in line waiting to have their " reconciliation " with the priest....my cherub said " Can't I just phone it in??"

0_0

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jenna has to have a mole removed and she is behaving as if she is having an arm amputated. She is referring to it as her upcoming "surgery". I've told her to knock it off and buck it up but the appeal to use this for drama is too dang tempting for her. She actually wondered why I couldn't just remove it at home for her - ummmm NO.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark turns 14 Saturday - whooooooooohoooooooo. His birthday used to be bittersweet for me. On the one hand, we're thrilled he is growing up and proud as heck to have him as our child. On the other hand, birthdays used to mean "yet another year Mark is still autistic ". However, I seem to have moved past that. I'm totally pumped for his birthday and totally cool with the autism thing. In fact, I think I shall convert. Yall can just cater to me from now on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Those are my ramblings for now - if I think of anything else sorta ....semi....kinda interesting, I'll post.

Life in the slow lane....

My friends....I think I'm going through changes in my life 0_0. I'm 47 and I am noticing changes in my moods and in ahhem...other things. Awww heck..... I think I'm just at the starting gate with a new and exciting? path in my life. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Major....Major...Major cool thing happened at our house last night. Hopefully, yall will get the significance of this event..... Mark was home last night and in an awesome mood. He got some ice cream out of our larger freezer. It was like a brick and he was trying his best to dip some out in a bowl. He touched my shoulder and said "Help peese" . THIS IS HUGE!! It's the first spontaneous, non-prompted sentence he has ever said to me. He got high fives for that one!!

~~~~~~~~

Some of you heard this one already but Jenna had a good one the other night. Rachel came home asking for 70 bucks for Vivace ( no...that's not Versaci for the middle class - it's a choral group ). Rachel, hates to ask for money and acts guilty as if she's sending us into the poor house. Jenna pipes up " Rachel always asks for money...she's a liability ". 0_0

~~~~~~~

Rachel is going to Homecoming with a group of friends this year and has no date. I think that's swell btw. Last night, she went to a party at her friend's house....she came home and said "Mom, all of these girls were hugging Sam and Josh ( good friends of her's ) and I sort of like Sam but I didn't do that. I just didn't feel like doing that - was I right?" ....Yes Baby, you did the right thing. No huggin on boys and not sending mixed messages works for me.

~~~~~~~~

Jenna wants to start her own religion. I can really not see an effective argument of why she shouldn't do this. Although....I can see her angling it for a way to get donations.


That's about it from life in the slow lane. Grandma is sleeping most of her days away but that's not a bad way to go out. Mark broke a window on a bus a week ago with his head but....we got through it and the bus driver seemed cool. Windows are over - rated.

The Rollercoaster

Ever have times in your life that feel like you're on the emotional roller coaster at the "What Doesn't Kill Ya Only Makes Ya Stronger" amusement park??

Most of us take this ride while others sit on the sidelines and never lose their lunch or have their head spin.

I just walked in from an emotional lunch with a friend whose husband is dying from ALS...only to get 2 phone calls; 1. My son needs stitches because he banged his head on a window and 2. My 102 year old Grandmother ( a woman that exemplifies strength to me in so many ways ) is dying. Toss in a few previous worries about various friends over their health and stresses and I'm a weeping cocktail.

Life has a way of smacking you up aside the head and showing you what the real issues in life are doesn't it??

Be back later - phone again.

Mom....I've got something to tell you and I don't know if you're gonna like it..... 0_0

Those words were uttered by my 10 year old 2 nights ago. I knew she was too young to be pregnant ( unless she was from Arkansas ) but I braced myself anyway.....


Marksmomm says " ok - what is it?"

Jenna " Well, I think I'm too old to have you lay with me at night. From now on.... I think I should put myself to bed"

0_0

Jenna " How do you feel about that?? Are you going to be ok? "



*weep*

My baby is not a baby - can I rent one of Mama's???

It's a comin'..............

The crickets have been chirping during the day......the locusts are starting to sing....the grasshoppers are starting to act all wonky......my mums are already starting to bloom......

Fall is coming. Which, in and of itself, is a beautiful thing ....but.....right behind fall comes.......

WINTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sob city!!

Well Alrighty Then..... 0_0

I'll just post this and let yall react:


Matthew McConaughey says the birth of his son will help bring a little joy to others in the world someday. The actor kept the placenta from the July birth of his son and plans to plant it in an orchard, he tells CNN's "House Call with Dr. Sanjay Gupta" in interview scheduled to air in two parts Aug. 9 and Aug 16.

McConaughey says he hopes it will fertilize the land, a ritual long followed in several cultures.
"It's going to be in the orchards and it's going to bear some wonderful fruit," he says, according to an interview transcript.



Ok then.....

Sometimes......Life is not all that interesting

*Twiddles thumbs*

Ummm my life is not really interesting this week. I vacuumed....I dusted....I did laundry..... I killed a spider..... I showered ( it had been a week after all ).....I cooked....I ran a child to soccer.... I yakked with other soccer moms.... I hid my shock when a mom said she didn't want her daughter going to another child's bday party because she thought the child was "weird" ( I told her Jenna was going because we would not contribute to a kid being sad because no one showed up ).....I got in over my head on a message board debate over gun control ( I've decided that I'm wrong and we all should be packing heat. The next time someone cuts me off in traffic *BANG* right in the front tires .......I over ate.....I did not work out.... I didn't read a book ( despite about 20 waiting on my book shelves for me to read )..... I listened to my neighbors discuss yet another unplanned pregnancy with one of our neighbor's son's and his gf..... I saw a homeless man and felt badly for him.....I scheduled Mark for a neuro appt and for allergy testing .....I've had insomnia for the past 2 nights due to hormones ( further proof that God is indeed a man and has a sick sense of humor.)....I ordered my Step Mother In Law a birthday gift because I knew my husband wouldn't want to and wouldn't get around to it...... I sent both girls to their rooms for being monsters.....I refused to let Rachel drive all over town ( and I found out I'm the strictest mom in town...COOL! ).....I had someone tell me I didn't look 47 ( that felt good because I could tell she meant it. I needed to hear that on that particular day ).....I balanced my checkbook and realized that I was a bit too generous over the past 2 weeks 0_0....I watched PROJECT RUNWAY with my girls ( and because I know Mama likes it.... I watched just to see Tim Gunn say MAKE IT WORK )....I had a call from a friend on vacation on her way to buy liquor 0_0........
Basically....I have writer's block *weep*

You Never Know When You're Going To Jump In Someone's Story

I want to preface ( is that the word? ) this story by saying that.... I love people. I love hearing their stories and...I love to spend time people watching - I'm never bored that way. Some people collect precious moments figurines...I like to think I collect "precious moments"


The STORY:

Jenna and I accompanied Rachel to her second driving test. I have to admit I was nervous as heck because I didn't want to have to go through the drama of her NOT getting it. On the way there, a "red bird" flew in front of our car ( Jag's family calls cardinals "RED BIRDS" because that's what his late mother called them. Whenever we see one, we think of Grandma ). I figured it was a very good omen for us to "see" Grandma that am.

Rachel took the test and passed!! WHOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!! She was on top of the world. As we stood in line, she was spilling over with excitement, to which I made the comment " Rachel, your excitement is spilling over on the other people in line"

An elderly couple in front of us turned to share their lives with us for a moment. The woman was GORGEOUS. She looked to be in her 60's. Gorgeous skin and just a warmth to her personality. She was the size of my late Grandma Genny ( about 4 ft 9 in if that ) and had the same sweetness. The woman says to Rachel in a strong East coast accent " I flunked the first time!! I didn't drive until after I had three kids and the funny thing is that he ( she jabs her husband ) was in the car business~!"

Now I don't know if these 2 were Jewish or Italian but their accents were right out of a tv sitcom and I adored them immediately.

Mr. Elderly turns and looks at Rachel and says " she's gorgeous!! How old is she??"

"16" I say.

Mr Elderly says " she'll be married in 2 years " 0_0

Mrs. Elderly jabs him and says " nooooooo they go to college now and all that stuff"

I turn to her and say "speaking of gorgeous, you are!! You caught my eye immediately when we got in line "

Mrs says " I'm 85"

Me - "get out!! No way!! What is your secret!?"

Mrs "soap and water - that's all I've ever used "

Folks - she was a beautiful woman - inside and out.

Mr pipes up and says " you know you can get them to pass you on these driving tests if you slip them a 50" ROFL!!!

He then goes on about how beautiful Jenna is.

I tell him " well they look like their Dad "

Those 2 were straight out of WHEN HARRY MET SALLY ( remember at the end of the movie where the older couples share their stories??? )


~~~~~~~

I'm sure I didn't do that "precious moment" justice but it was a fun blimp on the radar of life. You never know when life is gonna toss you a party....even in line at the DMV ( btw, those people working there have NO sense of humor ...just sayin! )

Jackie can sooooooooo boss me!!

Jackie yells jump and I respond " HOW HIGH!!". Did you at least read the shaved eyebrow story?? My kid is obsessed with shaving.

I DO have a story for you ( it happened with our oldest got her license the other day. ) Stay tuned!!

Jag is a naughty boy!!

This is what happens when your husband grabs your bum during phototaking ..........he is DTM

Oh yes she did!!!

Our youngest SHAVED off her eyebrows. OH YES SHE DID!!! She tried to tell me she had plucked them ( why she did this... I dunno!! Someone told her she had bushy eyebrows and the genius in her said " SHAVE THEM OFF " ).

She now looks like she's going through chemo therapy.

Did I give her empathy and provide gentle support through all this?? HECK NO!! I told her that the next time she felt like shaving something off 0_0 ....she needed to speak to me first.

I'm thinking if we put a turbin on her head and have her sit on the corner with a tin cup, we could make a few bucks.

FINALLY!! A Family Picture!!

I've been wanting a family group picture but...alas...autistic kids hate to have their picture taken. However, I figured we had a "shot" at the Group Home picnic with all the outside help to get Mark focused and "sat down".

We had a photographer there as well ( a friend of Kevin's -- Kev is the group manager ). The above shot was taken with Jag's digital by a staff person at the picnic.

I'm tickled pink to have all of us in a photo!!!

You aren't ANYBODY until you have someone stalking you on the net!!

That's right folks. I have my own bunny boiler internet stalker. "She" claims to be a "she" but my gut thinks "she" is really a repressed homosexual guy that has a mother fixation. My stalker can't go 2 posts without a gay reference ( or a sexual one ).

Many of us posted on "her" board until we figured out she was a nutter ( yes....I'm slow on the uptake ). I have no idea why she became obsessed with me but..... "she" did ( lucky me!! ).

I generally ignore the posts she makes on other boards because I don't want to engage her on any level.

She has posted on BPPP with at least 2 additional names - the IP numbers didn't match but ....the nutters are always smarter than the sane ones on how to get around that.

I'm leaving for a few days tomorrow - good time to get out a town mon!

Jackie... you KILL me!!!

Jackie - Sadly, I cannot amuse you today. I have come to ask YOUR advice. My baby failed her driving test by 4 points today ( who knew you need to stop at a red light before you turn right 0_0 ).....and who the monkey needs to know how to do a 90 degree back in parking job???

The child is feeling dejected and sadly.... I sort of felt she would fail. *SIGH*.....not because she's not capable but because (1) she had called and told all her friends she was taking the road test ( big mistake in my book - the heavens like to monkey with you when you are sure of something ) and (2.) she was a nervous wreck. It was like she was going for a root canal or something.

My urge is to have her out driving as soon as possible again.....sort of like the GET BACK ON THE HORSE idea??

Any feedback??

P.S. Funny, I always felt Mama was put on earth to entertain me!! She needs to post a new entry on her blog!!

Save me... I want to live!!

That's me in the background with the almost 16 year old driving. Maybe we look alike to you - we like to wear matching shirts and have matching contusions on our skulls 0_0.

I had the "almost 16 year old" drive me up to St. Paul today via a busy-ish hwy. 0_0.

Dear Lord.... I think I ripped off 2 finger nails with the white knuckling I was doing.

On the one hand, she does PRETTY well ....if she was in the over 80 age group that is.

She takes SUPER wide turns and does them rather.....fast. My stomach is somewhere near Snelling Ave in St. Paul.

And on the other hand....well there is no "other hand" - it's just nerve racking and it's every bit as scarey as you can imagine except worse!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know if I will survive this.

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On an un-related note... "THE PET" ( as we refer to my SIL ) has moved out. We called her the pet because she reminded us of a cat except she didn't stink and she didn't lick her bits and pieces. She was OUR PET for 8 months. It's with mixed feelings with say good bye to her and wish her the best in her new uber cool house.

There's no place like home....

The oldest urchin is HOME SICK. To quote her " I miss travelling with you guys and...would you believe I'm the only one that picks up after myself??? "

Oh yes, CHILD UNO ( the one that told me she was living in a prison 2 weeks ago ) has decided that Aunty Em and Uncle Henry are not so bad.

For starters, she is the one sharing a bed with her friend's little sister since her pal wants a bed all to herself ( you have no idea the karma here and how much I had to bite my tongue ). For another thing...there are 5 people in a hotel room; and 4 towels. Her pal used one for her hair and another to dry off....leaving 2 towels for 4 people. Rach was appalled.

I haven't heard so many " I love you's " or "I miss you's" since Jag and I were first together :)

This was the best thing we could have done for ourselves as parents - send your kids away so they can see you're not WICKED!!

The 10 Year Old Is My Homey This Week....

Jag is off on a Business Trip.....SIL ( aka Gail according to Drama ) is in and out ....and the "Almost 16 year old" is in Georgia....that leaves Jen and I to be each other's homies.

So last night I'm watching a show where a Mom gives birth to SIX babies - it was amazing.....I just had to watch it. Jen joined me. She then asks me " so do they have to do it 6 times to get 6 babies?" 0_0 Aye yie yie.

I then explained the wonders of FERTILITY DRUGS to her. She then wondered about people that choose NOT to have babies and we discussed that for a while.

Then...my cherub said something profound and beautiful....she said " well, I think you should have a baby since your body goes to all the trouble to DEVELOP ( her word ) a space for you to have a baby...it would be a shame for it to go to waste " Naturally, my genius offspring was referring to the Uterus and how it should not go to waste.

Sniff and ROFL!!

Ok ...so I asked the 10 yr old...

.... do you want to help me dust? ( Yes oh wise mothers, I realized my mistake the minute the "question" left my mouth ). She replies " nope - I only help with cooking " 0_0. I say back " so...whaddya gonna do when you grow up and you have a messy house? " She, without missing a beat says "I'll have a husband " 0_0 Foolishly, I ask " what does that have to do with it??" She says " Simple - I'll cook and he'll clean"

Now...why didn't I think of that???

The Parenting Gig

Let me just say that our youngest offspring has started her summer vacation out on shakey ground with me. For starters, she informed me last Friday that we had a boring house. Thank you very much cherished child but no one asked you.

Then last night, she told me that *I* was lazy because I didn't go upstairs and get her trash for the weekly garbage collection 0_0. Oh my friends....it was uggggggggggggggglee here after that. I informed my FORMER cherished child that she was going to shadow me the entire next day and do everything I did. *For a moment I saw fear in her eyes but then she quickly squelched it and said " FINE ".

So today....I got her up bright and early. Cherub says " Why are you getting me up so early!! It's summer vacation "....Mommie Dearest replies " I'm up so you're gonna be too "

Her first job was to REMAKE her bed after the first attempt stunk. Then, she was escorted down to the laundry room to sort laundry ( this brought out a " ewwwwwwwwwwwwww " and I quickly reminded her that a good percentage of the dirty laundry in the basket belonged to her and had hugged her body and special bits and pieces. 0_0. )

Then it was back upstairs to clean out the dishwasher.....after I noticed a few upside down spoons and knives in the fork slots....I decided a firm reminder of what would happen if the jobs weren't done correctly was in order.

Cherub promptly gave me a Harumpf! and said "I'm a lazy person and when I grow up...I'm gonna be a boss "

Aye yie yie....Jag and I have our work cut out for us. We've given birth to a deadbeat Dad.

*********

I see politics in her future.

I'm Slow On The Uptake.....

You ever have one of those "A HA!! " moments where you realize you've been an idiot. Oh...the signs are all there but you've been missing them and your brain seems to be on a vacation?? People around you must think you've either become incredibly insensitive or you're just an idiot....or both.

I woke up this morning with clarity my friends. I've been in a fog for the past 2 weeks. My brain started a vacation without me and it finally returned this morning. My first thought was "Oh my - I've been missing the boat!!". Naturally, I had feelings of embarrassment coupled with thousands of DUH's running through my head.

Do you ever have moments like that where you realize you've been a dunce?? If so, please share. Come join my dunce party.

P.S. Drama - remember the wav. "You are an idiot"?? Please play that when you think of me :)

Someone explain this to me...

I don't get it - how does an A student come home on the last day of school with ONE SHOE???? And when you ask said child where the shoe is...the response?? " I dunno. Must have fallen out of my backpack. It's ok though...I was done with them anyway " 0_0

Also - type in TENNIS SHOE on your search thingie and hit images....tell me why there are a few photos of nude women tossed in. I don't get that.

Pray People

The above pictures were taken in my home town. My folks have been without a phone and gas power. It's raining in the midwest and it's showing no signs of stopping.

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This has been a week of personal events for my family - such is life.

Mark was at the ER last night for a split chin - he banged his head on the floor until it broke open. *SIGH*

But what I came here to ask folks is to pray hard for my Aunt and the people of Cedar Falls Iowa. My Aunt was evacuated last night from her home. I just heard minutes ago that the levy broke. Homes can be replaced I suppose but this particular Aunt has more than her share of hardships.

Send positive energy her way guys.

June Is The Month For Brides

Happy Birthday

Grandma and Jenna

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Today's Grandma Genny's birthday. She loved family gatherings and she was especially fond of birthdays. I am picturing her in heaven having a huge meal and instructing St. Peter to " finish that up " and tossing another helping of taters on his plate. There was no such thing as DIETS in her world nor did plaque build up or clogged veins touch her radar screen. If it tasted good....eat it...and then eat some more. Any problem you had or any difficult situation could be solved by a slice or 2 of pie.


Happy Birthday Grandma!!

Random Thoughts

I must be in a quirky mood because I've been ravaged by random thoughts lately - none of which are important in the whole scheme of things. Yet, my mind is in a state of unrest....

For instance..... today, as I was driving by the local antiques auction place, I thought " I bet folks, like me , that grew up in old farm houses and USED some of that stuff they're selling aren't big buyers of that junk " ( YES I said JUNK. Oh I suppose it's got some value to someone and I've been known to pick up my fair share of junk along the way but most of my friends that are gung ho over antiques grew up in nicer ( ahhem...maybe newer is the better word ) than I did. I have friends that decorate their entire homes in someone's old stuff that got sold when they died off in the 1930's. So ends thought number 1.

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Thought #2 - I don't watch soap operas. Not even night time ones. I can't even get interested in them. Then it dawned on me.... my interest in those type of shows died when my own life became a drama circus. ( Message boards don't count because you get to participate IN the dramas ). I don't really like most reality shows either so....I'm not sure what to make of myself. End of thought #2.

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Thought #3 - Do you ever notice that the older you get, the more stuff gets caught in your teeth?? Is that because we're eating more sticky stuff or because our teeth are moving and getting all crooked again? 0_0 It's just not cool to be smiling at someone and come home and see you have a hunk of brocoli in between the incisors.

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Thought #4 - Is it fair to still get acne in your 40's?? This seems like a MAJOR design flaw to me. Either that, or it's a damned cruel joke. Does one opt for the anti-wrinkle cream or the clearsil?? These are important issues for humanity to ponder.....

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Thought # 5 - As weight goes UP...why do things sag DOWNWARD?? An oxymoron in my mind. Yet...another design flaw.

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Thought # 6 - Where I live, I've noticed that if it's 100 degrees out, no one cares if they have to park gazillion spaces away from the entrance of a store. However, if it's 50 below zero, we all fight for the closest spot. I guess the fear of having your nose drop off or your eyelids freezing shut as you run into the store for a gallon of milk is a different story altogether.

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As you can see, I've had a lot on my mind. I'm sure I'll have more important issues to ponder as the week goes on....and I'll be sure to keep you all posted.......

In the meantime.... visualize JUMBO SHRIMP in your mind.

Time Marches On....

Where does the time go?? When do our babies grow up?? It hardly seems fair that you're wiping their bums one minute and the next handing them the car keys.....

Yesterday....the last of our children left single digits and ...entered double digit agedom. Yes...the baby turned 10. It's too late to go out and get another one and ....besides...they're not like puppies *sniff*....

So...the "baby" says to me.... I want to shave my legs 0_0. I tried to hold her off as long as I could because....well...let's face it...once you start, you're a slave to it for the rest of your life unless you join a granola cult.

My neighbor took an ethical stance and felt a child should be much older. I looked at this neighbor who gave me unsolicited advice and said " ethics aside, my child is hairy. Think HIRSUTE here. Think ELECTROLYSIS poster child.

So... I bought the "baby" a razor and watched her prance off to shave her legs.....all the while I'm thinking " you poor pathetic sucker... in a year ...you'll be griping "

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Oldest child has made a huge decision....one I am having bittersweet feelings over. Oldest child has decided NOT go to out for Soccer this summer and fall and focus on academics instead 0_0.

She has played soccer for 10 years *weep* Her position has mainly been goalie and I have LOVED watching her play it over the years. But alas...those days are over.

Jag and I told her it was her decision and told her we were fine either way.

On an up note...I won't have to do any fund raising or go to anymore Booster club meetings. Yahoo! But on the other hand... I sure will miss watching my child kick that ball downfield.

The Dog Race Of Life

So.....the new neighbors 2 houses down have a dog the size of a football ( as in....it would be easy to kick the thing for 50 yards ). Anyhoo....I see this dog in the street and try to shoo it back on the lawn. I mosey on up to the front door of the neighbor's house....door wide open etc ( screen door was attached *wink* )....no answer to my doorbell. *SIGH*. So I get Cujo jr and I put him in the fenced yard ( I was soooooooooo doing my best Dog Whisperer on this cream puff ).

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5 minutes later...Cujo is in MY yard. I yell for Jenna to entertain him because....well...she's always wanted a dog. She went to play with him and that mutt started running in circles like a mad cow. I swear this dog has ADD.

Jen could not catch him and she was not enjoying the dog....I yelled to her " you wanted a dog...now you're seeing how much fun they are ".....Then I have an 0_0 moment " what if that dog lays some "batteries" in my yard that "I" have to pick up!?!?" It was time for drastic measures.....

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Jen and I cornered ole Yellar in the corner of our yard and I picked the bugger up - he had the nerve to snip and yap at me. Too bad fur ball...you're outta here!!

Then I took him and locked him out of our yard. I turned to Jen and said " we tried to save his life but if he becomes roadkill....it's not on us" 0_0

FLOCKING DOGS!!

Endora is Stalking Me!!

Linche - it's obvious you are stalking me. You show up on the BPPP board and now on my blog. Don't you have a Dunkin Donuts employee to harass? Don't you have a basket to make? Don't you have a Clay Aiken fan club meeting to go to??

If you don't stop your stalking...I shall be forced to call the FBI...or worse yet...Kahlik.

The Curly Shuffle

Hey Moe!! Hey Moe - yuk yuk yuk!!

SIL didn't get the job she wanted at the Science Museum. Therefore, I've decided to become a Stooge until she is employed.

Logical? Not at all but it made sense when I went to type this post.

Just because....

SIL had a promising interview yesterday peeps!! They asked her back today to meet with HR!!

Meanwhile...I'm dreaming of Italy!!!

Remembering cont.

Just Thought Of You Today

I miss your lap :)

I know who the terrorists are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ohhhhh don't be fooled by those 2 in the picture!!! I have no idea who they are but.....they're terrorists and they're a threat to our national security!!! Osama is clever my friend!! Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrry clever!!

After travelling in 2 different airports over the past weekend, I came to realize that anyone over 70 is a possible terrorist. Consistently, anyone over 70 is pulled over and wanded, frisked, patted down and made to do the hula hoop while gargling a gold fish without swallowing it.

Those innocent looking, yet deadly folks, were consistently pulled out of checkpoint lines. WANDED!!! Patted down!!! FRISKED!!! Suddenly, my father didn't seem so innocent and fun loving when the 22 year old security agent ( I have jeans older than this kid ) was frisking and patting my Dad down. It was a Brokeback Mountain moment for sure. He and my father did enjoy a camel afterwards though.

My Mother claims to have artificial knees - they had to be wanded too. My Dad claims to have a pace maker and a defibulator ( I don't even know how to spell it - but I'm sure it's deadly if used on innocent people ).


THEN it dawned on me....every elderly person was being wanded. It's a conspiracy!! They're out to get us all!! Those canes and walkers could harbor weapons!!!


Blue haired people be damned!!

Reunions

Some of you know, I flew out to Washington state last Friday; accompanying my aging parents on a visit to my brother and his wife...and to attend the college graduation of my beloved niece, Jordan.

I was dreading this trip more than you can imagine. My brother drives me insane and I specifically was not looking forward to staying at his house.

There's a long history there which I need not bore you folks with but suffice it to say....we go together like Bush and McCain ( well...at least how they USED to go together 0_0 ).

So....off I flew with my parents to the great Northwest. I have to admit, I had a good time travelling with those 2 old birds. I was the designated driver so I got to boss them around ( sort of ironic when you think about it " We'll get there when we get there " 0_0 ...or " Didn't you JUST go the bathroom?? " ). At one point when I was parallel parking, I said "Could maybe one more person give me directions on how to do this because I'm thinking 2 is not enough" - My brother and Dad were telling me how to park and I was doing a fine job by myself tyvm.

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We stayed in a Super 8 motel Friday night in Spokane ( my mother booked it and didn't know it was a less than stellar place to stay -- I think the bath towel covered one cheek of my abundant yet cute arse ). I knew she felt badly so I just sort of joked about it " hey...it's not the Bates Hotel "

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We then drove down to Pullman to Jordan's house for a pre-graduation reunion of sorts. I knew Jordan's mother, stepfather and 2 half siblings would be there and I was anxious about that. I hadn't seen "Jane" ( actually, that IS her real name ) for nearly 17 - 18 years. I had adored her when my brother was married to her and missed her over the years. As much as I had tried to connect with his second wife, she just wasn't "Jane" and I missed the talks we used to have. In addition, I had heard great things about her husband and was excited to finally meet him as well. Plus, the 2 children ( ages 7 and 3 ) would be fun for me to meet - I sort of enjoy kids 0_0

I found myself being a big nervous as I walked into Jordan's house.....then I saw Jane. It was if time had not passed. We hugged each other and it was like a "reconnecting" had already begun. We chatted and exchanged stories about our lives etc. I met her wonderful husband ( loved him immediately ) and met their 2 children ( 2 of the sweetest and cutest kids I had ever met ).

Then my brother and his wife showed up - naturally, they were both impeccably dressed in the latest and coolest fashions. They looked great as usual. Hugs and greetings exchanged. Pictures taken of the graduate with both of her " families " ...then we prepared to head over to the graduation.

My niece, Jordan, suddenly was bossing everyone. "Papa and Grandma, you ride with my Dad after graduation and head down to Walla Walla. I'll ride with Tee ( her name for me ) and return my gown etc and then follow you down " Her mom, stepdad and sibs would come down later. I wondered about this arrangement but said "okey dokey "

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We went to her graduation and after waving at the wrong young woman for 20 minutes we finally "found" Jordan and waved our silly arms off at her. ( side note - I didn't exactly think it was Jordan we were waving at for the first 20 min but I am sort of visually challenged and I figured my brother KNEW his kid better than I did 0_0 ).

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After the graduation ceremony was over, we went out into the sun and took more pictures and yacked some more. Finally, we loaded in our vehicles and prepared to make the trip down to Walla Walla.

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As it turned out....Jordan and I had a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng talk on that nearly 2 hour drive. She talked about her future....about hoping to find love....and...about her feelings for her Dad ( ie him "abandoning" her as a child ). She told me she finally realized she was angry at him because she found herself sniping at him all the time. Apparently, they were at some gathering and she did something exceptionally well...to which he turned to a bystander and said " I must of raised her right " and she snapped " You didn't raise me " 0_0. I listened to this and let her share how she finally confronted him and how they came back together with a new understanding. As gently as I could, I said to her " I want to reaffirm to you that others saw what happened to you as a child and you have every right to have/had the feelings you do/did.....it broke my heart when your parents split up and I worried about you terribly ". She also shared how her Dad said his feelings had been hurt by her sniping at him. I then ( maybe I overstepped here ) said to her " the feelings of a 40+ adult ; one that has more tools and skills at coping...are different than the hurt feelings of a child "

We talked about many more things but I won't bore you with the details...only to say ...I felt I had recovered the closeness with my niece that I had felt with her when she was a child. She was...my first baby.

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We arrive in Walla Walla and prepare for the "party" in honor of Jordan's graduation. My brother and his wife, naturally have a gorgeous house ( parts of it could be in a style magazine ). Everything appears as it should....yet...I never quite felt at home there. Maybe it was the sleekness of it or....the 2 giant great danes that roam the place 0_0. ( I did practice the Dog Whisperer on those 2 girls and they didn't mess with me. When I say " ride a dog save a cowboy " you get the drift on the size of those 2 dames ).

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Jane and crew arrived later. Folks....it was old home week for her and me ( at least it was for me ). We talked for hours ( kids coming and going....people walking in and out of our circle.... eating....etc ). She has become a natural healer of sorts and she reached over and told me " I see silver light shooting out all around you - it's quite fascinating to watch. I've never seen that color around someone before. It's like a star " 0_0. Now....she knows I am open-minded and receptive to this sort of stuff or she never would have said anything to me. So...we were off on another topic with her giving me a "mini" reading of sorts ( I'm still processing all that -- it's all good so...no worries folks. Just a lot of info to absorb ). The night went on and when it was time for her and her family to leave she said quietly to me " do you want to see God or feel God? " . 0_0 I had to think for a moment and I gave my first logical response that popped into my head " well, I am so visual...I want to see God "

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The next morning...I woke up and my first thought was " to feel God is to see God! " ....then I got it. It was like a lightbulb. I had been neglecting myself and my own spirituality for quite some time. I had some work to do and I was ready to do it. Also, I had a great deal of peace that morning. I also realized that a great deal of the anger I had been harboring at my brother was over the loss of Jane. I cannot completely describe how liberating that was to realize that. I had no idea how much I had missed her until I saw her again. I had been holding a grudge toward my brother and I had built a wall around myself against his second wife because she was not Jane ( my loyalty might have gotten in the way here ). It's odd but I found myself looking differently at those 2 the next day. Yes.... I still saw some of the pretentiousness and I saw the silly way they talked to their dogs but.... it no longer bothered me. I just went with it and lived in the NOW ( Jag and I toss that around at each other during stressful situations " LIVE IN THE NOW HONEY!! " )

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I've rambled here but I hope you get the gist of how my weekend was. It was much better than I expected and.... I learned something along the way.

Yet another thing to hate...

There HAS to be a man behind this!!

I live in the part of the country where they flush the fire hydrants and clean the streets in the spring. Well......... that leaves water in your toilet that looks like someone needs to add more WATER to their daily diet; water in your wash machine that looks like Apple Juice concentrate....yadda yadda.

The SAD thing is I waited 2 days to do my white laundry - my toilets looked better so I figured I was safe. I started the washer and tossed in Jag's white button down Ralph Lauren suit shirt and a few other WHITE articles of clothing....only to watch water the color of brewed tea enter the realm of my washer.

Somehow...somewhere... a man is behing this. I just know it!

What NOT to Wear.....

Riddle me this oh wise souls....why do women over 45 - 50 think they can wear mini dresses?? Further, why do they think they can wear low cut ones with shimmery stuff all over them??

Girls....it was a wild night at the BALL - epecially if you were a correspondent for WHAT NOT TO WEAR. Holy moly - aye yie yie - do most folks not have a good perspective on how they appear to others??

I saw more sagging breasts and ancient thighs than I care to for the rest of my life. It was like a geriatric exotic dancer reunion for some of these women. Hand em a pole and watch them slide down it ( throwing a hip out in the process ).

0_0

Don't get me wrong - most folks know how to dress and carry themselves but those aren't the ones we want to discuss ...nor are those the ones we keep staring at with our jaw on the floor the whole night.

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Oh...and note to self - never bid on any silent auction items after a few glasses of champagne hastily gulped down....or you may be pleasantly surprised later.

I'm going to THE BALL...oh yes I surely am!!

Oh yes kids....I'm going to a BALL tonight. It's for Jag's work ** groan **. It's at the Zoo for some fundraiser thingie.

I am just NOT ( did I mention NOT ) the "BALL" type. I'm more the Lucille Ball type. What does one wear to these things?? Luckily, it snowed last night ( oh yes, Minnesota spring is a riot ) so I can wear one of my winter dressy get-ups. Jag, naturally, bought a tux. Now...I'm thinking....why buy one when you can rent one?? But he looked at me like I was Lucille Ball. *shrug*

So kids...it's either have a root canal or go to THE BALL... I am voting for the BALL since I get free food and drink and the stinkin' dentist doesn't provide that.

Viva Italiano!!!!

Ciao Mon!!

Our oldest is going on a choir trip in 2009 to Italy - whoooooooooohooooooooo!!!

Jag approached me last night about the both of us going along on what they call the "SHADOW TOUR" for parents ( in other words - we go to the same sites and cool places the kids do but we have no curfew -- I am picturing Jag and I frolicking in the Trevi Fountain or making out in the Pope's backyard - am I wrong to think such things?? )

I'm thinking that since I am Catholic, I should request an audience with the Pope and ask the important questions we've all been wondering.....

1. What do you wear under that robe - boxers or briefs??

2. What were you thinking by wearing those red shoe like things while on tour of the U.S.??

3. Who hears a Pope's confession??

4. Does the Vatican have a dart board with Martin Luther's picture on it in the game room??

As you can see, I've given these matters serious thought and I think it's time we all got answers!!

Ciao!!

Are we proud or what!?!?!?!?

Rachel is lettering in academics!!! We are invited to a ceremony on the 29th!! Whoooooooooooohoooooooooooooo!!

Stay tuned!

Looking for Space......

I've been a good sport....and my SIL has been a good houseguest.....but it's been 6 months now and I think it's time the universe bless her with a job :)

Don't get me wrong - in many ways it's been great having her here. I have a built in chef ( she is an excellent cook ) and someone to watch movies with etc. However, I can tell it's wearing on her to live here and frankly....it changes the dynamics of my family life as well.

I find myself being a bit miffed at Jag for no reason - I suppose it's because he's a safe person to dump this on. I also am keenly aware how he would be acting if this was MY sibling living with us 0_0

I am praying that her interview next week ( on the 23rd ) finally lands her a job. I know she REALLY wants this one and she has a good "in" because of a connection with Jag's job. Cross your fingers everyone!

Thank you for letting me vent :)

Bon Voyage Drama and Mama!! ( tee hee...that rhymed! )

Bon Voyage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a great vacation girls!! We'll miss you back here!!

Jag - The Continuing Saga of THE STOMACH TURNS

Some of you know, Jag came home Holy Thursday with gut rot from work. Why is this significant? Well, in the 19 years I have known him, I think he's missed maybe 2 days from work due to being sick. The man never takes a day off unless it's a planned vacation....so....for him to come driving in the garage in the middle of the day, I knew he had to be sick.

We chalked it up to the intestinal flu or to food poisoning. *Shrug*


Until....he came home Wednesday with the same thing. The man is having some serious pain in his tummy. He did go to work yesterday and today but I see the Pepto Bismal bottle on my counter mocking me this morning ( which means he got up in the middle of the night and took a shot of it ).

He is mainly complaining of cramps that double him over.

I think it's time to see a doctor - any thoughts?

Mama Needs To Clean More....

Mama has tagged me in her game of " quote the book "


The rules she posted:

The rules of the game go like so:
1. Pick up the nearest book (at least 123 pages long.)
2. Turn to page 123.
3. Find the 5th sentence.
4. Post the 5th sentence on your blog
5. Tag 5 friends to do the same!



My book is "The Speed of Light"


My sentence: "Did Mom ever teach you to count down into your sleep?"


On the message board, I tagged:

1. Gee
2. Eliza
3. BA
4. Sid
5. Birthmark

This is to mother you....

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Disclaimer - the lyric " I will do what your mother didn't do " is not to imply anything against anyone's mother. Instead, I like to think of it more as " I will do what your mother can't or isn't able to do "..... I interpret this song more of a friendship song than a lover song.

Dedicated to all my friends:

This is to mother you

To comfort you and get you through

Through when your nights are lonely,

Through when your dreams are only blue,

This is to mother you.....

This is to be with you,

To hold you and kiss you too,

For when you need me I will do,

what your own mother did not do,

Which is to mother you....

All the pain you have known,

All the violence in your soul,

All the wrong things you have done,

I will take from you when I come....

All mistakes made in distress,

All your unhappiness I will take away

with my kiss, yes, I will give you

tenderness.

For child I am so glad that I found you,

Although, my arms have always been

around you,

Sweet bird, although you didn't see me,

I saw you....

And I am here to mother you -

To comfort you and get you through,

Through when your nights are lonely,

Through when your dreams are blue...

This is to mother you

Light a Candle

Light a Candle - and send positive thoughts out into the universe today.

Mamamormon's Mama is in the hospital and she ( and her family ) can use all the positive energy we can muster up and send their way.

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In my religion's tradition, a lit candle symbolizes the special intentions we have in our heart and soul for someone else. It is a visual reminder that we are "concentrating", "focusing", or meditating about someone else or some issue. It need not be a blessed candle although I do buy special candles for this purpose ( check out the hispanic aisle of your grocery store ). I buy them because it helps me remind me that I am especially focusing on something other than trying to add a pleasant fragrance to my home :) Mama and Kahlik have razzed me a bit about my "candles" but they bring me comfort and keep my otherwise scattered brain focused on my special intentions.

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Light your candles people!!