Kyrie Eleison....

"Kyrie eleison down the road that I must travel
Kyrie eleison through the darkness of the night"


I love Mr. Mister's version of Kyrie Eleison. Since it IS Lent, we ( St. Joe's ) are singing our version of it during Mass. We sing it in Greek and it moves me everytime. There's something about all of us knowing how to do it, without being told what to do, that's comforting to me. Hard to explain. Sort of like we all know what to do during the National Anthem.

Some days, you just have to look up at the sky and say "Kyrie Eleison, Christe Eleison" ( literally, Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy ).

Just smile and nod at me people. My head is full of snot.


0_0

What the Monkey????? Can't leave comments??

It has come to my attention...ahhem...that some of you have tried to leave comments but been unsuccessful. I do apologize for this HORRIFIC problem but I'm unsure what to do about it. Kahlik, please write a letter to someone to get this problem resolved!!!

As for other issues:

1. Mark - he had a fabulous visit last Friday night and Jag and I were successful in getting about 2 inches of his hair cut off ( oh yes mon...he was looking like a Van Halen band member ). It's clear to us that all the positive ( ok...it's clear to ME ) thoughts and energy coming his way DO help.

2. Gwen - she hit sort of a low spot yesterday and I could tell she was close to tearing up ( that's huge for someone in Jag's family - in my family, we bawl at Hallmark card commercials and call it bonding ) -- she has only had one interview in February and has heard nothing. I feel badly for her but all I can do is offer support and pray for her.

3. Jenna - her fish continue to die at an alarming rate. This led her to her lobbying for a dog ( unsuccessfully ) with her Dad -- he said no but he did laugh at her smart use of an opportune moment.

4. Rachel - she's up for the Britney Spears mood swing award of the year. She's a great kid but tends to be a tad dramatic. I have NO idea where she got that.


5. ME - I caught an illness from the Mormon which leaves me with a hacking cough, snotty nose and a penchant for cleaning. Who says I'm not a loyal friend?? And no...no Bin Laden found yet in any closet but I am optimistic!!

6. Jag - still cute and still anal. What's not to love?


Have a great day peeps and I hope I fixed the comment thingie.

Hallelujah!! It's About Time!! *Genuflecting*

I went to mass tonight and it was "run" by the 9th graders. Rachel had a pre-confirmation retreat all day at church and it ended by parents attending mass with their kids.

During the portion of the mass where petitions are read ( special intentions where we ask our fellow parishioners to pray for and give special intention to ) the lector read " We pray that we all will respect one another regardless of our religion, race, gender or .....sexual orientation" . I looked around to see if anyone reacted to this bold statement in the petition -- could this be?? Could the church be moving forward?? I quickly realized that those darling 9th graders had written the petitions!! Another one read " Let us pray that we all will respect one another regardless of our political affiliations or beliefs"


After mass, I caught Father Tom and said " Did the 9th graders write the petitions?" He looked at me cautiously and said " Ummm yes they did " and I said " well all right Father!! It's about time I heard something like that in a Catholic Church -- I'm proud of those kids!!" ....and his reaction?? Well...I'm not sure how to take this but he....laughed his arse off. And I left with " I guess you know where I stand on the issue " ...Come to think of it, he often laughs at me whenever we have a "discussion"...in a good way, I think.


0_0


Blessings on those darling 9th graders!!



Halle*flocking*lujah!!

Some days you just can't win

As many of you know, Jag's younger sister has been living with us since October. Overall, it's gone pretty well. Gwen ( or "Gail" as Kahlik refers to her ) is easy to have around and we share many of the same interests.

She has been actively looking for a job since she got here and has had NO luck ( for those inclined toward prayer, please add her to your list ). Throughout this process, there have been many days she has struck me as "depressed"...therefore when she wanted me to watch LOST with her...I did so ( she owns all 3 seasons ). Seems harmless right?? Well...this ticked off Rachel to no end. Rachel has always been a fairly territorial child and really would love it if I just devoted all my time and attention to her ( and if I did that...she would really hate it and then ask if Jag and I were going to divorce since I was spending so much time with her 0_0 )....

In other words, Rachel is the child I can't win with. I'm either hovering too much and TOO interested in what she's doing and who with....or...I am ignoring her and spending too much time with Gwen. *Keep in mind that when Gwen wanted me to watch LOST, we invited Rachel to do so too and she watched half of the first episode UNTIL the phone rang and she had to gab with her friend for an hour. We repeatedly invited her to join us etc


Last night...Rachel was mad that I had privately told her she had been insensitve to Gwen. I finally lost it a bit and said ( in front of Gwen no less ) " Listen... I want you to be respectful and kind to all adults and I'll call you on that behavior EVERY time no matter who it's directed towards....it just so happens that Gwen is one of those adults that LIVES with us "


So my friends....my oldest child is jealous of any attention I give Gwen.


Any advice???

I hate the song JACK AND DIANE

Several years ago, I rented a house with a few of my friends. One Sunday afternoon, we thought it would be a good idea to go down to one of the local bars and buy a case of beer for 5 bucks ( think CHEAP beer here ). The impulsiveness of youth can be a good thing....or a bad thing.


For some reason, this particular bar ( that used smelly socks in it's air vent. system ) also sold popular albums ( that's right, I said ALBUMS...no CD's in those days mon ) for dirt cheap. Ditty Diane sees the John Mellancamp one for 5 bucks and decides she must have it then and there.

We go home...drink a few beers and...then it happens. Ditty Diane decides that she LOVES ( and I mean LOVES ) the song Jack and Diane and thus makes us listen to it over...and over...and over....pee some,drink more...listen to it more....then get up on the heating pipes ( what the monkey do you call those? ) and PRETEND your a nightclub singer.

It was ugleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee my friends. Ugly.

To this day, I hate that song but whenever I hear it ( without fail! ) I think of Ditty Diane.

Houston, we DON'T have lift off

Kev ( Group Home ) just called.... Mark's surgery has to be rescheduled because he has a fever and some lung congestion. On an up note...Kev said Mark has been having a FABULOUS week and he didn't have one SIB ( self injurous behavior ) today even though he had to wait 2 hours at the doctor's office.

Prayers help!!

The Fireworks Are Cancelled

An email from an OLD ( emphasis on OLD ) friend reminded me of the days of my misspent youth... chasing elusive love and drinking way too much beer. Anyway.... this one particular friend had a bit too much to drink one night. It happened to be July 4th and as we drove down Lincoln Way, in Ames, she got on the P.A. system of my old Malibu ( don't ask why it was in there to begin with .....and PLEASE don't ask what happens when you are drunk, in a drive in movie theater, with access to one ....) and she loudly announced, as we sped down the road, "THE FIREWORKS ARE CANCELLED!! THE FIREWORKS ARE CANCELLED!! "

I now visit this friend anytime I can in prison and send her care packages :)

The Empath

Anyone remember the old Star Trek show?? There was an episode once called THE EMPATH (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Empathm ) . Basically, it was about this woman that felt any emotion of those she was close to. If someone was scared, she felt it too etc. That's sort of how I feel about my friends. When they hurt, I hurt too...when they're scared, I'm scared too. When they cry, I tear up too and blow my nose.

I hope I am always sensitive and respectful to my friends when they are in pain or going through a rough time. Because of my experience with Mark and grief, I hope I have learned what NOT to say...such as:

1. It could be worse
2. God doesn't give you more than you can handle
3. At least your other kids are normal.

Etc, etc, etc.

Folks, everyone has the right to feel like shat now and then and feel like they got a raw deal. Most of the folks I know and love rarely allow themselves to do this because they strive so dang hard to be strong and hold it together and they don't want to abuse the "self sorrow" card. I'm here to tell you that it's ok now and then to have that feeling. I know I have had days where I thought " who the flock did I piss off in the universe" ....we have the right to feel sorry for ourselves now and then. How else can we effectively give sympathy to others if we don't show the same kindness to ourselves now and then??


I love my friends and I say a silent prayer for them daily. Blessed am I for knowing them and receiving the abundance of their love and support and even more blessed am I should I return it.



~~~~~~~~~~

XXOXX

You can never really exhale

We got a letter from our county social services saying we need to be at a meeting on the 12th of March to discuss:

1. Your child's continuing need for placement
2. Progress made towards goals outlined in the case plan
3. A date by which YOUR CHILD MAY BE RETURNED HOME
4. Or by which other placement plans may be made.

What the flock? This is a new one for us. We've never had to do this in the nearly 4.5 years he's been placed.


Naturally, I have a call into them.....waiting to hear back.


Hand me some nyquil....

I Predict Mama Will Say "SHUT UP!"

So....I'm at the 3rd grade Valentine's Day Party when one of the Mom's ( She happens to be one of Jenna's Brownie Leaders as well ) says to me "Oh there's Michelle...her Mom is 6 months pregnant". Okayyyyyyyyyy that's nice I'm thinking ...but I can tell there's something more coming and...there was. She says "Angela ( Michelle's Mom ) is a surrogate" 0_0

So I said " You mean like "Uterus for Rent"?" Ummm yes. A couple from California have made a contract with Angela.

Think of all the ethical ramifications here. On the one hand, if I had a close family member or friend, I MIGHT consider doing surrogacy for someone ( I don't even know how to spell it! ). On the other hand, would you consider doing it for money???


Discuss 0_0

Happy Valentine's Day!!

I love Valentine's Day - what's not to like? It's a day devoted to love :) You can EVEN love your 9 year old when you find out they swiped some of the candy hearts you had counted out for the 6 sections of 3rd graders ( 625 per room to play Bingo to be exact but who's counting?? 0_0 ). Oh and did you know, you can't find ANY candy hearts the day of a party?? It's true!! I bet you didn't know that. I can only hope some folks ( besides the JW kids ) are absent today.

*weep*

Just try and not...

....move your feet and butt to Rosemary Clooney!! I was shaking my butt around the kitchen just now as it played. Wiggling and grooving!! Come on, Come on over to my housssssssssssssssssssssse I'm gonna give you cannnnnnnnnnnnnnndee!! Come on, come on over to my house!! Makes you want to jump a Mr. Goodbar or an O'Henry doesn't it!!

p.s. A good song to make out with your honey with...scroll my player down to Etta James' AT LAST



Enjoy!

A New Guilty Pleasure

My number keeps going up and here is yet ANOTHER guilty pleasure I have discovered. On BRAVO, Millionaire Matchmaker. I'm telling you... it's like a trainwreck you can't help but watch.


My guilty pleasure list:

1. House - I give it 5 Hail Mary's out of a possible 5 on the penance scale.

2. Lost - 5 Hail Mary's

3. Boston Legal - 5 Hail Mary's

4. The Tudors - 4 Hail Mary's

5. Millionaire Matchmaker - 3.75 Hail Mary's

The Man Is Full Of Surprises....

Jag comes to me last night and says "Ok, ummm I have reservations at a restaurant on Thursday night and you need to be ready by 6:00. All I can tell you is that it is 15 minutes away" 0_0 Me says " What do I wear? " He responds " Not jeans " . I am very surprised by this...pleasantly so!!

You put your right foot in....

Ahhhhhhhhhh the Hokey Pokey - Freud would have a field day with that title. For me....it makes me think of wedding dances or Kahlik; and not specifically in that order.

Mark had a great home visit. He only slapped himself once last night and once this am. HUGE difference from last week. He did bite a child at school yesterday but my mother says the child obviously provoked Mark 0_0. I talked to one of the surgeons yesterday and we are going to up his ibuprofen and taper him off the tylenol 3. After his surgery on the 21st...he will get vicoden. Gwen says he can be a "little HOUSE" then ( see HOUSE show for more information ).

Now...let's get back to the Hokey Pokey....wiggle your feet folks!!

Come on now....sway to the music...

You know you want to. Commmmmmmmmmmmmmmme onnnnnnnnn!! Tap your feet and sway your butt to the music.....

Life Marches On

Isn't it amazing what a difference a day or 2 can make?? It gives us more perspective and allows us to lick our " wounds " and regroup. Either that...or I'm bipolar 0_0

I'll Admit It, I'm Bummed Today

I'm trying to stay positive and not take things that happen personally but I am in a bad place today. My arm hurts; I had to pop some ibprofen today for it.... but really my feelings hurt more. I feel like bawling :( All I tried to do was help Mark feel better and he turned on me and bit me. The shocking thing for me is that as he bit me I thought " ok, here we go again...this hurts but it won't kill me ". Luckily, Jag was there and pulled him off of me. He had a rough night until he went to bed.....then...he got up and was fine this morning. I'm so confused... is this all pain?? Is this behavioral?? Or, as Jag thinks, a combo of both?? We've had such a good run this past year that I guess I got sucked into thinking all the bad times were behind us ( I know! I know! Stupid of me!! ).

I'm feeling sorry for myself today and I'll be ashamed about that later but for now...BOO HOO FOR FLOCKING ME!!!

Bite Me - Literally!

Tonight, I got bit by Mark. Not even sure what provoked it. It happened right after he'd slapped himself (and I had given him ice for his face). We counted to 10 like we always do and BAM! He grabbed my arm ( it was like slow motion ) and dug into my arm. The GOOD thing about living in Siberia is that you wear several layers of clothing; therefore, he did not break the skin on the arm. The reality of autism just hits me sometimes....